The atmosphere is seeing some high disturbance today. I am okay with that, as the cloud masses going through have quite a majesty about them. I confess to being a cloud watcher ever since my boyhood, when I would lay out in front of the house on the grass, flat on my back, and just try to imagine myself floating along with them. The feeling that this has given me is about the best I can imagine ever having. Where I go when drifting through the sky doesn’t seem then as being all that important to me. Maybe I will dry up and disappear somewhere out over the desert.
I have to stand way back and take the long view of myself and of my life, because up close and being in the moment I do not much understand myself. Maybe that is what the cloud gazing does for me–gives me a longer view of myself. I understand this basic fascination that I have has been with me for so many years, and age has not caused me to let go of it. I don’t know if cloud appreciation does much for my financial, social, or spiritual status, but I feel good when these large shady blobs look down to pay me a visit.
Some days when I read through prior journal entries I wonder who is doing the talking, and who is the person under discussion. I often don’t see myself in my own writing, and must try to read it more carefully to see what I might learn about myself. The journal often seems to be its own form of cloudiness. My ideas seem lofty, my concentration breezy and unfocused, the development of my thoughts seem to grow further away from me as I am busy trying to capture them.
Who is the person writing all these things and what is he really trying to say? If other parts of the world need shade or water, are clouds the best delivery system available? Or perhaps clouds are not just there for practical, logical purposes, but also come and go to delight and entertain those willing to watch?